6 posts tagged “funny”
Ya'll know how I love this guy, right?
This is, quite possibly, one of the funniest entries I've ever read on the internet.
And since I know people get lazy and don't like to read paragraphs that are too big or to click on links, I'm going to copy and paste (with due props via my links and with quotation marks around the whole thang for good measure) cus I want ya'll to read it that bad.
Also, anything (ANYTHING) that references the work 'dookie' gets a hearty-as-heck laugh out of me.
Anyway:
Entitled: Kids Say the Darndest Things by Dad Gone Mad
"There’s an End to every play date – a defining moment when it becomes clear that it’s time for little Johnny to go home (and, in some cases, never come back). In our house, The End usually occurs when the kids’ screaming becomes louder than the volume on the hockey game I’m watching. It’s great that they’re having a fun time and all, but no one – NO ONE! – stands between Daddy and his Ducks. You there. With the stinky feet. Get out.
My son has some pretty cool friends. I like them. I like their parents. And having the boys around actually makes life a lot easier because I have even more people to blame my farts on.
But until Sunday afternoon, none of them had ever said this (nor anything even remotely close to it) before:
“Come on, you guys. Let’s go mess with people’s minds.”
That’s exactly what he said. Verbatim.
Kids say the darndest things, don’t they?
You can never be prepared for everything, but I thought I’d figured kids out to some extent. I expect to hear, “Let’s go burn ants with a magnifying glass.” I expect to hear anger and crying and evasiveness about certain things. Heck, I even expect an errant dookie from time to time.
I do NOT, however, expect hypnosis. Or reprogramming.
“Come on, you guys. Let’s go mess with people’s minds.”
What am I suppose to do with that? How, as a parent, does one intervene? Boys, there will no mind messing in this house. Boys, you mess with my mind and I’ll mess with your face. Boys, if you must mess with people’s minds, please start with Mrs. Evans.
But I have to admit, I was curious.
A) What the fuck was he talking about?
B) What sort of thing could an eight-year-old do to “mess with people’s minds”?
C) Is this blog material?
“OK,” I said. “You can mess with my mind if you want.”
“Really?” my son’s buddy said.
“Sure.”
That’s the last thing I remember."
I think I posted about this before, but one-mo'-'gin: in fourth grade, I was asked to move from the front of the class during movie-watching time cus my hair was too bouffant. Yes. The teacher said my hair was too "bouffant" in front of the entire class. Point being: I'm sure the size of my head had
Sometimes I want to go into a store and put on a hat and know it will fit without having to look for a bigger size, but:
And you know you got a big head when nose-brim-to-behind-the-ear area prevents you from buying sunglasses
Like Mrs. BigHead above.
Long story short, the LARGE purple lump from the fall was SMACK DAB in the middle of my forehead. My brother said it looked like when one of the Flintstone's got a bump on their head and it sprouted from their dome like a foot high.
HAA!
I don't know why, but these memories just came flooding back. And I'm cracking myself up thinking about them.
"Oh my god. I shot my eye out."
How can this always be funny? Like, laugh out loud funny? Who knows... But because it's always lol-worthy, A Christmas Story has been around since '83.
As a follow-up to my my post about Fergie's lumpy body, I was oh so kindly sent this link from my sister-in-law tinal.
- Prepare to cry from laughter.
- Prepare to start loving Alanis again (do not deny that you have slashed an ex's tires and burned his/her memorabilia to her music).
- Prepare to understand why she dated silly guys Uncle Joey and Ryan Reynolds. It's cus she's funny.
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